Days and Moments

Today has been one of those days where I just want a break. By last night, I just wanted to get out of the house for a bit (it was ok if the kids came) and today, I just wanted a break. Today has left me tired, weary, and wanting of rest. I wasn't sure how much longer I could handle the extreme crying and minimal use of words. Matthew wasn't speaking as often as he usually does when in good spirits, and he was crying at every little thing. Ugh.  Due to an illness  I am quite certain Matthew picked up from my niece (no one knew she had it)  prob about a week and a half ago, he is extremely fussy and always needing me. He had a fever for a few days, but no sores. Now, he is more uncomfortable than ever, but bless God, he still wants to drink water. For this, I am ever so thankful! He has never been much of a fan of other beverages. Water works just fine for me. I knew he hadn't been feeling well since prob last sat or sun, but then on Tues he developed a fever. It was gone by fri morning, but he wasn't feeling any better b/c of the pain mostly in his mouth. He wants to eat, but it is hard for him to find something that doesn't bother his mouth. I suspected Jonathan of beginning to not feel well today, and taking his temp tonight confirms this suspicion. 102.6. Yuck. I gave him some motrin and am continuing to spray things w/Lysol and of course pray. After the dreary rain wore off this evening, there was a break of sun. I got everyone out of the house. We didn't have much time, b/c dark was quickly approaching, but we took advantage of what we did have. Anyway, instead of Jonathan confessing that he or Matthew doesn't feel well we're trying to get him to say: "Jesus, thank you for making me better." or something along those lines. I do not believe sickness is our inheritance or our portion and I hate it!!!   

There is a bright note to this outdoor excursion. We were able to meet a family that lives in our development who has 3 (older) kids.   The two youngest are real into soccer and want their backyard a bit "bigger." So this couple decided they'd like for us to be the recipient of their used, but good condition swing set. How wonderful is that?! We only have a small climber in our yard and the boys are getting bigger. They really enjoy playing on swings and a bigger slide. I have been thinking our yard needs more play stuff in it, but figured we would just wait it out and see. Their set happens to be wood which he has treated and they've taken care of over the years. Since they don't live very far, they've offered to help bring it to our house. They say it's pretty easy to take down and not to difficult to put back up. Yea God!!! He is SO GREAT like that!!!   I have not taken a good look at it yet, but Rick and I will go down in the near future to do that. I was thinking tomorrow, but forgot I will be occupied w/a baby shower in the afternoon. I love baby showers, b/c I get so excited for the people having the baby and the baby!  Anyhow, I'll have to bake this family some sort of bread and cookies or something. Such nice people! Maybe if I'm ambitious enough, we'll have them over for dinner.     

Some other time this week, I was going to post on how much Jonathan and Matthew love mowing. It seems they want so much to be like Dad. It's so cute what they do... esp. Jonathan. He copies every move Rick makes when mowing. I am not kidding. He doesn't "start" the mower until Rick does, and if Rick stops to check the oil or gas, Jonathan will do the same. The other day, Rick even stopped to blow his nose, and turned around to find Jonathan doing the same thing. He is such a great kid!  He has a great example too.   When he came down w/me tonight so I could take his temp and give him some medicine, I had (and still have) the ball game on. [I know the Yankees aren't  in it, but I do still love a good game.] Anyway, you know how much spitting goes on in baseball. Pathetic. I don't know why they feel it's necessary. Jonathan doesn't either and asked me why "he was spitting?" This referring to one of the players. Then he saw the same player do it again, and a few more players in addition to the same one a few more times. He declared it rude and they shouldn't do that. I did not have an answer for him as to why they do it, other than nobody tells them not to and I don't really know. Then I was thinking, don't they know kids watch them? So why on earth are they spitting? It does not make one a better ball player or a cooler player. It doesn't make one run faster or hit more balls. I mean, I guess I could test the theory myself, but I'm pretty sure I've more important things to do. Maybe when I take up home schooling science, we'll create a hypothesis and test it. But really. Spitting? And multiple times in public? Have I spit before yes, but usually discreetly and b/c I have something disgusting in my mouth and not multiple times. Now, I know these guys don't have tissues in their back pocket, but come on! Anyway, that's my two cents on that. It wasn't supposed to be that long.

So that's it these days, or at least this week. This week has seemed more like long days than moments, but at least I get to cuddle w/my kids just a bit more. And perhaps those are the moments to best be thinking  about. I'm not so sure if in a couple of months, I'll remember the long bouts of crying and having to juggle 3 kids at the same time. Thank God Kaelyn truly lives up to her name and remains extremely sweet and joyful. She is happy to play on her own and I don't know if her brothers realize how nice that is for them in times like this. She is also oh so patient in being fed. Thank God.

Well, since i am weary and needing of rest, I suppose I am going to find the Rock that is higher than I, if only for a few moments. His yoke is easy, His burden light and His invitation to simply come for He will give me rest is one I think I will take Him up on. His love is endless, His mercies ever new, and His promises remain sure. This is my God!        

Remembering

I am watching home videos of the boys and Jonathan is 1 1/2 (around Christmas 2005) while Matthew is approx Kaelyn's age-perhaps just a bit younger. It is a riot. It all started when the boys wanted to see themselves on tv tonight, so we obliged and put in some recent footage. After they went to bed, we wanted to see what other tape we had, so we ended up putting one in that had some tape of Jonathan right before Matthew was born and then after. It even had a bit of tape in the hospital w/Matthew. Oh so precious!

Anyway, I am watching these and thinking how much I love being a mom. I really do. I am glad I'm a mom. And how thankful I am for these wonderful, precious children of mine! They are amazing and wonderful and have brought much laughter. I am not saying I don't have tough days, I am sure everybody does. However, it is usually the tough ones that seem hard to remember and the wonderful ones that you just want to remember every moment; it is these days, these moments that seem so fleeting. In watching these, I want to cry. There are so many moments and in some ways I wish I could get them back. Seeing Jonathan at his oh so cute stage w/his many curls, wonderful voice and caring ways just make me want to go pick him up out of his bed, hold him in my arms and just sit there and smile at him...maybe even sing to him: I'll Love you forever, I'll like you for always, as Long as I'm living, my baby you'll be.  I wish I could recall every second of his younger days. We don't have any beginning video on Kaelyn and that is sad for me. I am thankful for the video we do have, but I wish I could hear that newborn cry of hers, the moments she first started to coo, talk, and babble. Most footage we have of her is from this summer through now. I heard that newborn cry of Matthew's and got to see him there w/me and Jonathan in the hospital (I was tandem nursing, so it was even more precious) and it made me miss that sound. I really do love that sound.

All the things about watching this... I mean, it makes me want another one-well, not like I didn't want any more. But, even then, it's just not the same. It's always different w/each and every one. Which, I suppose, is what makes those moments so special. They each have their own way of saying things, their own mannerisms, and their own voice. AAAHHHH... I cannot explain the emotion I feel or all that is in my heart because it is so much. But I do so wish I could remember when I held and saw them for the first time-just what it felt like. I suppose this heart of mine knows, but I just want to hear, touch, see, smell and feel those moments over and over and over again. We recently moved Kaelyn to her own room since that little bed next to mine is now way too little for her long body; and last night, I remarked to Rick how I miss having Kaelyn in our room. I don't  know...I just missed her. In fact, I kind of wanted to get her, bring her into bed and nurse her. She was sound asleep, so I settled for taking Rick with me to check on her, touch her, look at her, and thank God for her and her wonderful, precious life. 

And I suppose it is in the growing that is the hardest part of being a mom-for them and for us. I like the growing too. I like the discovery, the looks of awe and wonder, the expressions of love and the laughter. I like that even though my boys are getting older, they still want to cuddle and snuggle with me. It seems to esp. be one of  Jonathan's favorite things. I also enjoy the conversations Jonathan likes to have and all the endless imagining of which he seems capable. I try to drink in every moment of those times and be sure to pay close attention. After all, if I pay close attention now and want to listen to him now, perhaps he will still enjoy talking and want me to listen when he is 10, 12, 13, etc... I especially try to make a mental note of this in the times when it may seem hardest to tune in. I tell myself I want to tune in and I don't want to miss it. this is the truth. I  want to and need  to hear every word he is saying. Just because he is 3, does not mean it is unimportant or that what somebody else is saying is more worth listening to. HE is important and therefore so is what he has to say. I have been  doing my best to follow this lesson as of late. Yes, I am practicing with Matthew too. Kaelyn takes it all in.

I guess that's all for now. I was trying to remember some funny things that the kids have said over the past couple of days, and I know if I took the time to sit and think, you'd be reading something amusing, but it is late and I am tired. Besides, I did have to get Kaelyn during this entry, so that put me back on time a little bit. I enjoyed snuggling with her. Being a mom is just so wonderful. That's how it feels tonight. I am tired, yes, and it wasn't the smoothest day. But that doesn't make what I do not wonderful. Because all the wonderfulness seems to outweigh the not so wonderfulness. And God truly has been oh so good to us. And He is still good to me. 

The invitation

Come. Simply come. Come if you're tired. Rest with Me. Come just as you are. This seems to be His invitation to me on many ocassions. Really, He is so wonderful. I am thankful that they are home again. The pictures are so precious. Bless God they were able to bring that sweet baby home!  Thank you, Lord, for Your goodness.  

Last weekend, we decided to take a trip, esp since a certain someone  was home from the west coast for a visit. I knew we would miss seeing "the yellow house down the street" as it is so affectionately called, but we went nonetheless. Thanks to a gracious hostess, we were able to stay at their house. Everyone was wonderful really, and we were thankful for their hospitality. It was a great place to stay and we had a wonderful time. The kids did well, so Rick and I decided it makes it more tempting to trip out that way more often. We got in Sat night and drove around downtown potsdam for a bit before making our way to Madrid. We were greeted enthusiastically and warmly by all. They made us feel at home and that is such a nice thing. Thank you, Sinclair family...it was truly a treat!   Since Jonathan has been asking to go to "Mrs. Sinclair's house", I suppose we'll make it back again. :)   Brietta, I'm sorry we missed you, but I am glad you are home and your little one is better. We'll see you sometime.

Jonathan started school and LOVES it! He's doing real well and His teacher said he's her model student. Yea!

Kaelyn is babbling lots these days and making me laugh. I love it. She wants to start moving around, and looks like she is close to crawling, but whether or not she will remains to be seen.

Matthew finally got his haircut...by a professional!!!!  YEA!!! WOO-WOO!!! he has come leaps and bounds since his first one. Rick and I used to have to do it together. I would restrain him and Rick would cut his hair. The screaming and the crying was crazy!!! However, I was SO proud of him yesterday when I brought him in the morning and he sat in that chair nice and still. He did not move or cry not one bit. He did FABULOUS!!! I could not get over how well he did. I am telling you, he was so quiet and so still... it was amazing! YEA Matthew!!! way to go!!! I am so glad we can take him to a real place now to have it done. Jonathan was cute when we picked him up on Thurs b/c Matthew's haircut was the 1sth thing he noticed. He said "Matthew got a haircut." He said that 1st thing. I was surprised. And even he praised Matthew. It was cool.

Well, I'm just about done. Want to hear a Jonathan quote from prob about a month ago now? I put lotion on Matthew for his eczema and sometimes Jonathan wants some to put on his hands. I decided to give him a little. He rubs it in and says: "there. now my hands are pretty."  he's funny and cute. A Matthew quote: Matthew's OT was here and he was looking out the window and says to her "my neighbor, my neighbor." and she said "what is your neighbor doing?" he said "mowing." He was right. Our neigbor was mowing. He is only 2. Not 2 1/2. 2. And he knows how to use the word neighbor??? wow. too cute.  Every once in awhile they do stuff like that and it blows me away. The OT thought it was so funny that he knew neighbor. She got the biggest kick out of that. I did too. I really do love my kids. They are precious gifts from the Father to me. Thanks Dad.  You're the best!    

Tagged

I really would like to do a real update, but for now I am posting since I was tagged a while back. I also wanted to say thank you so much to my wonderful friend Angie-la. She made a wonderful page especially for me in honor of my birthday. There are some great pictures there if you'd like to take a look. Thanks so much, Angela. That was very special and I think quite the highlight of the day. It made me laugh. It made me cry. I felt special. I was filled with gratitude for having you as a friend and that the Lord brought you into my life. You are an amazing friend. That was a lot of work. wow! Someday, we'll have a hoop in our driveway.  In the meantime, here is the info from the 'tag' game.

1. What is your schools name and why? I  don't go to school 2. How is your weather today? Warm and a tad bit humid, but not so bad that we couldn't go outside. 3. What steals your joy? I'm not sure of this answer.. I guess getting angry. But I don't think joy is really taken. No one/nothing can take it away unless we let it be taken.And I guess I could go off on my anger answer but I won't. 4. Name 5 blessings you received this week? Phone calls from friends, Revelation of His faithfulness and love from the Word, An email from Danica (even though in the mid of busy schedule...thank you! ) Playing with my children, talking to Rick  5. Favorite Scripture Passages? Lots.  Right now the one I am most using is no weapon formed against ______ will prosper. 6. Who in the Bible do you think you are most like? This is interesting. Gosh, I'm not so sure I know. I think that's maybe a question to ask people who know me. Anyone have any input on this question? I'd loveto hear feedback.  7. The passage of scripture you read last? ”Ps. 63 8. Have you praised God for something weird? All the time. Well, i guess if you consider praising Him b/c boneless ckn breast is on sale, then yes. But I don't think He thinks Praising Him for anything is weird.   9. If you were making a greeting card for God, what would you say? I used to have the answer tothis one in my head, but I'm not sure i remember. I think it was a Thank you card of some sort. Thank you God for all You've done and all You continue to do! You are so good to me!  10. What is the best miracle God has performed in your life, or what is you favorite answered prayer? I think the 1st thing that comes to mind is our van and Brietta carrying Aubrey to term.. . 11. What is the most fun thing that you have done lately? Define lately? 12. How did you choose your screen name? Rick actually chose it a long time ago when we were 1st married, I believe and there was this chat room out of England for a Christian radio show. I've used it ever since. It fits well. All of my 1st name and the easiest part of my last name.He could tell you how he came up with it, I'll have to ask for a reminder. Now...choose five people to tag. Well, I guess I'll tag Katie. Too many other people have too much going on right now. Katie is a college student and the most likely to respond, if at all.  Angela...thanks so much for tagging me. I fully intended to respond right away b/c I was so excited about being tagged, but I didn't. Sorry so late. Thanks again.

  

Family time

Hello to all of you out there in the xanga world who still stop by here on occasion! It's been a busy month for me. I've been trying to fit time in w/ a sister who was leaving to return to college and is now gone, and a brother who was visiting for a few days who just left today. I was thinking it had only been a week since I last posted, but I guess time begs to differ. That means there was much much more I was going to get up on this site, but alas, it did not happen. I had been spending so much time w/my sister, that other stuff goes by the wayside. And that is ok, so long as those things aren't time w/my kids, etc... and that did not go by the wayside. At least I don't think it did; b/c i know there were things i wanted to do w/her and didn't. There was time I wanted to spend and didn't. I guess that's ok, seeing as how she as to divide her time so many ways anyway. I just wish it weren't so. She probably would have spent more nights here if she could have.

We had a fantastic weekend. On Friday night after the kids went to bed, I packed a small bag and headed over to my parents house w/ Kaelyn so I could spend the night. You see, my brother Peter had arrived in town that afternoon, so I figured I would spend a night and get time in w/both Katie and Peter. I knew most peple would be sleeping Sat mornign, but everyonne usually stays up late anyway. Only that night, not many people had energy, so everyone ended up in bed earlier than the norm. [this means 1am instead of 2 or 3]   And in the morning at about 9:30 or so I did not find anyone to be up. I figured I'd pack up the van w/kaelyn's bed and the bag and then hang out for a little bit to see if my bro pedro would be up and about soon so at least i couild get some much wanted time in w/him. i always feel like i miss out on time w/him when he's here and i hate that. i'll call the house and there everyone is having fun and laughing and i don't really get to be a part of that. i miss being there for those times. Esp since we only see Peter about once or twice/yr. So anyway, i ended up seeing my almost sister in law there and her fiance wasn't up and since she and i were both hungry, we decided to grab breakfast. in the middle of all this i was wishing peter was up and he could go w/us. We had a nice time at breakfast and upon returning to the house, i find out peter had been up, he was just in bed reading his novel. I was so so way bummed, esp since that had been my main reason for spending the night. So, i hang out a bit longer, then come back home. The boys were having an extreme amount of fun being outside w/dad mowing. You can tell they really need the break from being w/me and need some dad time. they are always extra happy after times like this and it makes me a better mom. I think it is important to do this kind of thing once in awhile. 

Later that night, we all went here for a great concert. I can't remember all the pieces and I don't have the program nearby, but I do know there was a Chopin piano concerto. It was all beautiful music. I loved it! We got lawn seats, and what a perfect night it was for that. You pick your own space on the lawn, bring chairs, blankets, or what have you and hunker down however you'd like. There are big screens so if you want to see what's going on, you can. However, the music that filled the air was just wonderful. Oh I love good music. It was spectacular and being there w/my family was even more spectacular. The kids loved every second of it and were so well behaved. I was pretty impressed. Other people were too. It's nice to have other people compliment you on the manner of your children. I was rather proud of them. It was a relaxing night. I thoroughly enjoyed it. I think one of the things i miss about here is the free concerts. Whenever I was in the mood to just go and chill out and hear some good music, all I had to do was make my way across campus into the comfortable seats of Hosmer hall. How I loved it. I love the energy and excitement of it all. How fun it is! I know there are CDs to provide such things, but i relaly do enjoy the live version.

Although Sat was a good day, i really wanted some strawberry shortcake. And not the kind w/the biscuits. I wanted something similar to what they have. I never want strawberry shortcake. It is not even remotely one of my favorites. Strawberrie-fresh and on their own I like very much, but shortcake? not so much. However, i really wanted some. There was none to be found. My husband had recommended some strawberry tall cake  and they no longer carry it on the menu. The reason for recommending that dish is because it was on the way home. He was willing to go to the aformentioned location, but it was a little more out of the way, so I declined. I just was baffled as to the reason I wanted SSC. I found out on Sunday. it's b/c after 6 1/2 mos of not being around, an aunt wanted to drop by for a visit. I guess she decided she had been way long enough and it was time she dropped in. I was happy w/her absence (as I'm sure most females are) but she decided otherwise. I fault her visit to my sister since she's the one who brought the visitor by during her trips to my house. Oh well. That's the longest aunt flo has ever stayed away after I've had a baby. BTW, I still havent' had that SC. Maybe sometime.

Come sunday morning, rick and I were exhausted b/c we were up VERY late talking. I didn't make it to church on Sun, and when I came downstairs, I discovered Matthew had gotten into the bag of wipes and decided it was his job to take every single one out and put it on the floor. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! That was just crazy and it took awhile to make him pick them all up. After Rick came home, we made our way back out to my parents so we could hang and have food. My dad makes the best breakfast! it was yummy! my mom made real good chicken too!!! I was going to hang out there and stay late then katie and peter would bring me home, but Jonathan was having the hardest time w/me staying. He really wanted me to come home with him, but I just thought I'd hang out  a little bit longer. He was crying and cyring in the van, even though we explained that I wouldn't be staying overnight, I would be coming home in just a little bit, he would not be consoled. Needless to say, I just rode home w/rick and the kids. i guess that was good neway. it kept rick awake on the drive home. we were both so tired.     

Monday was immunization day for Kaelyn. I hate those things. We only get the "necessary" ones, b/ c the kids never respond well. It always makes for a super long few days after such on goings. Last time Kaelyn had a fever for 2 or 3 days. Bless God she didn't a fever this time and it was only one day of being miserable. She was back to her regular self today. Yesterday was the challenge. I could not really put her down all day and she barely slept. It was quite a long day. I am just glad that's over. After the dr's appt, we headed out to my parents house again so we could spend a last little bit w/Katie before she had to fly out. We then headed over to see her off at the airport. The boys loved this part, esp since there's an observation deck so you can watch the airplanes up close. For me, it was my least fave, b/c i know that means no more katie till mid december. this i do not like. but i am happy for her.    

Wed. morning (still today to me) i was sleeping so nice, b/c kaelyn was and then i woke up rather quickly realizing that oh my goodness I had to get the the airport yet again, b/c this time my brother was leaving. I've decided I don't like two relatives leaving in the same week. Next time, they should spread that out better. Anway, we get there to the airport and since peter and other fam wasn't there yet, we used the time to go watch the airplanes agian. After Peter arrived, we said farewell, (not in song form) and waved to him from 3rd floor while he was going through security on the 2nd.  He left and so did we. The boys got in the van and ate their donuts that papa d. and grandma jo brought them while we drove to see rick since he only works 3 min tops from teh airport. That doesn't include speeding. jWe spent a little time there and then drove home. It was a good rest of the day. And I just remembered anotehr incident I was going to blog about from last weekend ( I think) but alas, it is too late, and I will save it for later. it involved sprinklers and the outdoors or something.

Ok. i'll stop all this chit chat now. you all have a lovely day. Please excuse all typose. It's rather late. thanks. :_)  

    c